The Game of Life Part II

I was lucky enough to be born in a more traditional era. My generation didn’t spend a lot of time trying to discover themselves, or to find a dream job or anything like that. We just got jobs, got married, and started having children. I can honestly say I went through about half my life without a particular plan. There is some merit, or actually a lot of merit in knowing what you want out of life, and I really believe everyone should make a plan and then work to implement that plan. But before you start I wanted to mention to you that even though I just went with traditional goals of business success, marital success and children, that was a terrific default set of goals. So choose your goals wisely and certainly consider the big three I’m laying out here. All of my friends that have brought up great kids are very, very happy they did that. . Building that economic success is part of the game, and it’s fun too. Many of my friends have successful marriages. A successful marriage is one where the spouses work together as a team and enjoy each other’s company much of the time. There’s an old saying that to be a man you must build a house, plant a tree, and sire a child. I would substitute “build a marriage, build a fortune/business/career, and sire children. I can recommend these to most of you as great choices to put in your life plan.

I have another male friend, or former friend, I’m not sure which, who decided he was gay. I say possibly former because he has drunk so much leftist kool-aid that we can’t have a serious conversation without someone getting angry and screaming that I have “White Privilege” (the politically correct new way of saying “racist”). We could probably converse about current music or cell phones, but these are deadly dull conversations. Friends can have conversations about real things, and we can’t do that any more. Anyway it occurred to me recently, while I was re-siding my house, that my gay friend had totally failed at the game of life. He certainly didn’t marry a woman, and while I believe he has had a few relationships with guys, he’s had nothing long term. So that’s one strike. He got a leftist liberal arts degree and became a school teacher. At one point he took a position in the school as a full time “diversity coordinator” which is leftist code for “gulag re-education torturer”. So, I suppose he gets some points for educating, which is a worthwhile career. But then he loses these points by indoctrinating young children in leftist ideology from which some may never recover, while others will take years of treatment to get over. Of course, as a leftist, he thinks capitalism is bad so only investment he’s ever made is in an IRA for retirement. And with that stunning teacher salary he relies on his mother for her cast off cars. So, strike two on fortune/business/career. And did I mention gay? No kids. Strike three.

You may say my idea of the game of life is foolish or stupid or homophobic or whatever. Go ahead and say what you like. But if you aren’t screaming things at me and are thinking about this, I challenge you to look around at people you know and think about which ones you think did better, and which ones did worse. Choose a role model who you know and believe has had a terrific life and think about the choices he made and the path he followed.


Same sex parents – not a first choice

In response to article, “Gay Rights? A Pathway to Hell” I have a gay couple, Ben and Russ, following this blog. Since they’ve adopted a child, I can’t imagine they’re following this blog because they agree with my position. I certainly hope I’m wrong and their child has a great childhood and does well, and doesn’t end up like these other adoptees:




and we are just now opening the floodgates…

Gay Rights? A pathway to hell

Gay, Transgender, confused, queer, lesbian, undecided. The leftists are pushing and glorifying gay and transgender lifestyles. There is some evidence that people are genetically predisposed to be gay. But what were the lives of all these gay people like in the past? I think a lot of them married and had children and just kept everything else … well…”in the closet.” I’m not going to have the argument here whether it’s a choice or biological. But I am going to use the premise that you can have an attraction for the same sex and still marry someone of the opposite sex and raise children. This premise is founded on the idea that people have been doing this for thousands of years.

The left is punishing anyone who tries to speak out against the runaway train that is the gay “rights” movement. They want these lifestyles totally accepted by everyone, arguing that everyone speaking out is somehow afraid of gays. They don’t understand that this so-called “right” that gays have exactly the same life as heterosexuals (or as gays call us “breeders”) is going to create many, many problems in the future.

Some argue that religion doesn’t accept this arrangement. That’s true. Most religions don’t accept same sex marriages, but leftists believe religions are created by people and can therefore be changed by people. I believe my religion was created by God but that many of its moving parts were laid out by people with divine inspiration. The godless left only sees the part created by people and says this can be changed and they have had success with actually changing the workings of some weaker religions.

But I’m not interested in making an argument based on religion. That’s a losing argument because some foolish religions are accepting gay marriage. The left then argues that if some accept, the others are wrong not to accept and must be forced to accept. They will trample on freedom of religion and will ultimately begin sending people to prison if their religion doesn’t conform. I’m going to argue this based on the children of gay parents who will be the train wreck of the runaway gay “rights” train.

I believe most gays won’t have children, but many will want to. I don’t believe they want children for the sake of the children, but to help solidify the illusion that they are living normal acceptable lives. Some gays have children from the period before they decided to go gay. Some adopt. Some go for artificial insemination, and some for paid incubation. Evidence shows gay and lesbian couples are more likely to abuse their children, both sexually and physically. By condoning gay marriage and worse yet gay adoption we as a country will be sanctioning abuse of thousands of children. If you thought the gay priest abuse was bad, wait til you see what’s coming. The press will cover it up, but it’s going to happen, and it will be awful.

Now let’s talk about another subset. This is the group of non-abusive gay parents who have procured children and really want to do what’s best for the children. Right off the bat these kids don’t get either a father figure or a mother figure. Males raised by single mothers have a lot of adjustment problems and adding another mother is not likely to help. Girls also have problems with single mother parenting. I haven’t read extensively the problems of children with single Dad’s but I’m sure they’re there. So, every child raised by single sex couples will have significantly more adjustment issues than ones raised by to sex parents. I have read articles by some of these children who did not appreciate their parent’s choices. Evidence is also mounting that children raised by gay couples are much more likely to have emotional difficulties, have less education, and have lower income. Some may do well, but most will find they start at a disadvantage. It’s bad enough that so many children are already raised in broken homes. Why would we as a society want to assign millions more to this fate just for the vanity of the gay rights movement?

Transgender. Trading in a set of sexual equipment that works for one that doesn’t . Not a win. I’ve seen a few man to freakshow-woman and they have all been hideous. Woman to man can’t be much better. This whole category should come under the heading “bad idea” and should be resisted.

I’ve been debating with myself if civil unions for gays would be ok. I’ve finally concluded that anything that puts their union in the same or similar light to real marriage increases their claim that they should be able to adopt children. Also note the scorn, loathing, and attacks on any who disagree with the gay rights positions. What we see here is a total intolerance for any position but their own. Therefore, I think we need to resist all calls for “rights” or “equality” in terms of gay marriage. I think we should show the same tolerance to the gay rights movement that it shows to anyone who holds a different opinion. To hell with the fucking gay rights movement.

Stop looking for a “Soul Mate”

Between 50 and 100 years ago, most marriages ended in death. I don’t mean men bludgeoned their wives to death or that women poisoned their men. (Though that happened sometimes.) I mean they stayed together until death parted them. I believe these people were for the most part happy. They weren’t focused on answering the question of “Am I happy?” but were instead focused on where they were getting their next meal, and what they could do for their community, on God, and on their family. Happy in this case looked in our eyes like contentment. In today’s world the focus has changed. I think people are focused on being “happy”. Is there a difference between content and happy? Let’s hold that question and talk about something else for a minute.


Now let’s think about how many people each of these people who could stay married knew before they chose someone to marry. I think it’s safe to say many people interacted with and were most comfortable with people in their own social circles. Rich people met and courted other rich people. Middle class people mostly did the same and so on. Suppose these people knew a group of 10 to 20 others of the opposite sex fairly well. (They probably knew fewer of like age who also happened to be unattached). So a man would meet a one or two dozen women, would pick one, court her, and then try to get married. Maybe it took a second try to get the full buy-in, but think about what this means. Men chose a potential partner of similar circumstances, out of a selection of 20 or so unattached women. If that woman was interested, and her family approved, they got married, and stayed that way.


Think about what this means. If you get to meet a dozen or so girls, and get to pick one, you should be able to make a long term marriage out of it. In today’s world about half of marriages end in divorce. A lot of remarriages end the same way. So why is it when people meet so many more people, and have the ability to not only pick the same socio-economic group, but can also find someone with similar interests, party affiliation and so on and it still often ends badly? Why is this?


Back to happiness vs. contentment. Our culture today doesn’t stress duty to God, country, and family, but finding happiness. And what kinds of things does society say lead to happiness? A primary giver of happiness, we are told, is finding our “soul mate”, or “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. We should find our one and only match in the entire world whose job it is to fulfill us and make us happy. Our “soul mate” understands our needs and fulfills them without us having to even say anything. This romantic Hollywood concept is TOTAL CRAP. To be fair they also talk about “Love at first sight”. I will say I fell hard for my girl and we were married 10 months after meeting. Lots of, but not all, couples go through this infatuation phase. But at some point you look around and find yourself living with someone who may have little in common with you. My spouse and I are both middle class Americans, but in many other areas we are total opposites. So after being married, the infatuation ends, and conflict begins. Successful couples learn how to work through this conflict, understand the other person’s motives and reach comfortable compromise. Less successful couples build up a series of resentments, develop a number of demilitarized zones filled with mine fields and wonder if they made a big mistake. Many spouses then begin to hear the siren call of our “me, me, me” culture. No problem, they hear. You just didn’t find your soul mate. Just get a divorce, badly damage your children, ruin your finances, and look for the mate you were supposed to find.


Think about what I’m saying. Our culture used to be very much more a Christian culture. Christianity focuses on love as duty and sacrifice for others. When people attend a Christian church they hear messages of forgiveness, self-sacrifice, love of others, and duty. This is a philosophy where selfish humans try to put others first. In a duty driven culture, external family and society put pressure on struggling couples to work things out and stay together if they possibly can. You may say it’s good that people in an unhappy marriage can more easily get out of it. This is perhaps correct in cases where one partner is consistently abusive and refuses to reform, but could not be more wrong in most cases. Dozens of studies show children of broken families remain at a disadvantage for the rest of their lives. Divorced partners also suffer financially and emotionally. Overall, the trend of increasing divorces that is a result of our turning away from God is a destructive force on our culture.


Our formerly Christian culture is being replaced with the false Hollywood narrative where the focus is on romantic love, marital bliss, and self fulfillment as a “right”. No one possesses any duty except to take whatever is best for themselves. This inferior culture that values narcissism above duty encourages people to break up at the first sign of trouble, and, even worse, to break up when someone new and interesting shows up.


If you want to live happily ever after as a married couple, you must accept the fact the infatuation will wear off. Then you will find that your spouse is a flawed human. Your spouse will discover about the same time that you are far less perfect than you think you are. Conflict will occur. Resentment will build. If you don’t work to resolve conflict through commitment, communication, and compromise issues will continue to fester. Areas of your relationship will contain mine fields that you can no longer get through. Everyone hears it, but few understand. Marriage is work.


But marriage is work worth completing. Most of your satisfaction in life comes from accomplishments. Besides the accomplishment of making the marriage work, you are likely to end up wealthy and with some great children. Knowing this allows you to stop the search for ‘the one’. The falsehood of the perfect match is the holy grail of our time. All you really need is compatibility and there are hundreds of thousands of compatible people living in a city near you. So stop looking for unicorns, and find someone you like. Then learn to communicate, learn to really love, and begin your life together.